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Thursday, August 23, 2012

What Ever Happened...?

It has occured to me lately that I don't have many girlfriends that I can talk to.  I mean, I have a few trusty girls who are really good at listening and not judging me.  But for the most part I've been feeling pretty lonely.  What ever happened to being able to talk about stuff to your closest girlfriends without any repercussions?  I don't feel like I "dump" all my issues on people, but maybe I'm just a lot more open about things than others.  Too open perhaps?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

It's Different this Time

Everyone kept telling me that being a mom of two kids would be so much harder.  They were right.  But it's different the second time around.  All the things I was worried about before are long distant memories.  The things I worry about now are time management, my body, my marriage, MY LOVE FOR MY GIRLS.  Do I have enough love in me to love them both equally? 

It's just different this time.  I feel like I love Lauren in a much different way right now.  Don't get me wrong, I love them both equally.  It's just that Lauren's been around longer and has had more time to make an impression on my heart.  Does that even make sense?  I would DIE if anything happened to either one of my kids, but it's just different.  I feel so much compassion for Lauren right now too.  Everyone is so focused on Taylor and it's like they forget about her feelings too.  I do have to watch how I talk to her now because she bursts into tears if you snap at her.  It's all about Taylor these days and I wish so much that I could put Lauren  first again...even if just for a day. 

I know that things will feel more "easy" as the newness of Taylor wears off and we are on a strict schedule.  I know it will just flow so much easier.  But for now, I need to make it a priority to tell Lauren, EVERY chance I get, how much I love her and how special she is to me.  She truly is the BEST thing that's ever happened to me and to Travis and she needs to hear that.  Always. 

Heard a quote the other day that really inspired me and I think when the girls are older and are sharing a common play room or bedroom I may put it on their wall.  It said "You are the only one that knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."  It's so true.  These two girls are the only people who are truly a part of me.  That's amazing. 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Our Third Week at Home

Travis went back to work on Tuesday, but my mother in law is still here...which has been nice.  It means I can take Lauren to school in the morning without having to stress too much about the hour long drive back and forth and whether or not Taylor can hang that long without needing to eat or have a diaper change.  Taylor has been such a wonderful addition to our family and is really just a chill and calm little girl.  We had a pretty rough night a couple of days ago, but we made it through and I think we're back on the right track.  Now if I could just get both my girls to go to sleep each night and wake up each morning at the same time, I'd be set!  But I don't see that happening any time soon.  So for now, I will just have to be tired and take cat naps during the day. 

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Got a little on my mind....

I will admit, I had a complete breakdown this morning.  I'm proud that I at least lasted 2 weeks this time though.  I'm scared.  Terrified really, of what's going to come in the next few weeks for me.  Travis goes back to work on Tuesday, and my mother in law leaves soon as well.  That means it's ALL up to me.  I know I can do it, I'm just scared as hell to.  Feedings and pumping, diapers, getting Lauren ready for daycare, remembering stuff (that's funny), and all that comes with "real life" again.  So this morning, I broke down.  I stood in the shower and cried and cried and cried until I felt better, and all of a sudden this calmness came over me and the tears just stopped.  I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.  As long as I say those words out loud, it will all be okay. 

On a brighter note, here are a few more pics from this past week.  I must say, Travis and I make BEAUTIFUL babies.  I love my girls so much, 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Our First Week Home

Taylor Paige is FINALLY Here!!

I know I'm about a week overdue with this blog post, but as you can imagine I've been a little busy this past week.  Our newest little angel has finally joined us!  Taylor Paige Overstreet arrived on Sunday the 5th of February at 3:19 a.m.  She weighed 6 pounds 13.5 ounces and was 20 inches long.  She joins all the other girls in the family and decided to come on her own special day.  My Mom was born on April Fool's Day, I was born on the Fourth of July, Lauren was born on Mother's Day, and Tay was born on Super Bowl Sunday.  And yes, that IS a holiday!

I was consistently measuring about one and a half weeks early so my due date was "changed" to January 31st instead of February 7th.  I worked everyday up until the 30th and was just done.  I couldn't even function anymore.  I was not thinking clearly, I was exhausted, I was in pain...all pretty typical symptoms but not very fun ones.  I went to my appointment on the 30th and the doctor told me it was going to be ANYTIME.  I was dilated to 3cm and was 60-70% effaced.  Travis was still working out of town and that was stressing me out even more and the doctor knew it.  So while I was at my appointment, she called Labor and Delivery at Kadlec to see when the earliest day was that they could get me in for an induction.  Saturday.  I had never heard such sweeter words.  If I didn't go into labor on my own (which I was already in non-active labor) I would get to go in on Saturday...but only if they weren't too busy.  The woman I spoke to in L&D told me they would start making phone calls at 6:00 a.m. 

Saturday rolled around and still no baby.  I was so frustrated and grumpy on Saturday too.  I didn't get my phone call all day and I was really stressing that it just wasn't going to happen.  I kept bugging Travis to get his bag packed and he just took a nap on the couch instead.  I finally got Lauren to take a little snooze around 4:00 in the afternoon...and then my phone rang.  It was the nurse asking me if I was ready to have a baby.  She said they were able to get me in because another woman declined her induction due to the Super Bowl being the next day.  HECK YES I was ready!  The nurse told me I needed to be there by 5:00.  I woke Travis up and he quickly packed his bag and loaded the car up.  I called my Mom and told her we were on our way to drop Lauren off with her and we were on our way.

Once I was in the hospital bed and hooked up to the monitors and registered, I got my iv with fluids and pitocin.  Then the anesthetist came in and gave me my epidural.  That guy was a hoot and made me feel so comfortable (considering I was shaking like crazy and so scared we were going to have a repeat of when I was in labor with Lauren).  After that, Dr. Sizemore came in and checked me and then broke my water.  They turned up the dose on the pitocin and we were in business!  I dilated to 4cm in about an hour and a half.  Things were moving along really well so we thought we'd better try and get some sleep.  Trisha couldn't sleep so she hung out and watched tv while Travis and I tried to rest.  About a half hour later I was REALLY feeling some pressure and I could feel my contractions so the nurse came in and checked me again and I was already at 6 cm.  I was shaking so bad and was having some really wierd pains and even more was crazy.  The nurse was still in the room charting my progress in the computer when I told her I felt something strange "down there".  It had only been about 20 minutes since she last checked me, but good thing she did.  I was 10 cm dilated and 100% effaced and READY TO PUSH!!  It was absolutely crazy insane how fast that all happened. 

Dr. Sizemore came in and they got me all ready to go.  It was 3 contractions and she was out.  It was amazing and beautiful and wonderful all at the same time.  My little girl was here and in my arms.  I'm so in love with her and can't wait to share her with the world!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Miserable Mama

This is a post about how miserable I am feeling during these last few weeks of pregnancy. I know it seems so wrong to be posting about something that's no fun, but I guess it's my way of venting a bear with me.  I CANNOT wait for this to be over with so that I can feel like a human being again.  I have been vomiting daily since day 1 (even took a trip to the ER one morning because I was throwing up blood) which has caused little tiny tears all up and down my esophagus.  This usually begins when I brush my teeth in the morning...and most of the time it ends rather quickly as well.  BUT, there are those few times when it doesn't stop and I am forced to call in sick to work and be miserable all day.  I have been working full time too (up until this past week) and for those of you who have ever seen me at work, I don't do a lot of sitting.  I have been forcing myself to sit every couple of hours, but that is not easy to do sometimes.  This coming week I will cut back to 30 hours, and my last day will be February 3rd or when I deliver, whichever comes first.  According to all the ultrasounds I've had, this little girl is measuring about a week and a half big (which we thought my due date was a week earlier anyways from the very beginning) so the doctor estimates my due date to be January 31st instead of February 7th.  I will keep you posted as the weeks continue and hopefully this baby cooperates and shows up on her own so that I don't have to go through induction again.