It's Different this Time

Everyone kept telling me that being a mom of two kids would be so much harder.  They were right.  But it's different the second time around.  All the things I was worried about before are long distant memories.  The things I worry about now are time management, my body, my marriage, MY LOVE FOR MY GIRLS.  Do I have enough love in me to love them both equally? 

It's just different this time.  I feel like I love Lauren in a much different way right now.  Don't get me wrong, I love them both equally.  It's just that Lauren's been around longer and has had more time to make an impression on my heart.  Does that even make sense?  I would DIE if anything happened to either one of my kids, but it's just different.  I feel so much compassion for Lauren right now too.  Everyone is so focused on Taylor and it's like they forget about her feelings too.  I do have to watch how I talk to her now because she bursts into tears if you snap at her.  It's all about Taylor these days and I wish so much that I could put Lauren  first again...even if just for a day. 

I know that things will feel more "easy" as the newness of Taylor wears off and we are on a strict schedule.  I know it will just flow so much easier.  But for now, I need to make it a priority to tell Lauren, EVERY chance I get, how much I love her and how special she is to me.  She truly is the BEST thing that's ever happened to me and to Travis and she needs to hear that.  Always. 

Heard a quote the other day that really inspired me and I think when the girls are older and are sharing a common play room or bedroom I may put it on their wall.  It said "You are the only one that knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."  It's so true.  These two girls are the only people who are truly a part of me.  That's amazing.