Sh#t My Kid Does

All I can say about this post is WOW! Get a box of kleenex and prepare to laugh your a$$ off!

Travis picked up Lauren the other day from her new daycare. Gwen says "Lauren said a new word today! She dropped the F-bomb. I thought I just didn't hear her right, but then she just kept repeating it over and over and over again. I asked her where she learned that word."
Travis tries to blame me, of course, but Lauren said it was her DADDY!!

While working on flashcards at Gwen's house, she gets a 1/2 of a Mike&Ike when she gets a few right. In typical Lauren fashion, when she gets bored she starts acting like a goof. Gwen says "you know Lauren, the more you learn the more candy you get."
Lauren thinks for a second and says "ohhhh yeah, but don't tell my Mom."

While riding her bike at Grandma Debbie's house the other night, she drove it right into the rocks. I said "Lauren, you big goof, why'd you do that?"
She looks at me kind of funny and says "Mom, I can't ride my bike and talk at the same time."

As we're getting ready for a tubby last night, she takes her pants off and says "look at my butt." I say "what a cute butt you have Lauren".
She says "and Daddy has a butt and Jock has a butt and you have a BIG butt."

As I'm taking a shower this morning (and Travis is at the hospital with his Papa) I hear this sort of scratching noise on the wall. Not thinking too much about it, I simply ask Lauren what she's doing.
She says "I'm drawing you a picture with my crayon! Come see!"
As I'm hurrying to get the soap out of my hair, I'm yelling at her to stop coloring on the wall and to get into the bathroom (where I can see her).
She yells back "but I can't. I pooped in my pants!"
I ask her why she did that when the toilet is 2 feet away.
She tells me "cuz I was busy coloring."

Stay tuned..there are plenty more stories to come!